Quality

I'm a little blown away by the difference in quality between my D70 and my 7D. The gradations and palettes are so much smoother! I'm really happy to be shooting with it for my thesis. Next step is to work out a better lighting system. I'm considering which new flash unit I'll be purchasing.

On a side note, I think I want to start making this blog a more renaissance type deal. I do a lot of different things, creatively, and that should reflect in this more personal compilation of work.

Here's some stuff I crocheted!





I've made a lot of other things, but I usually end up giving them away, or, in the case of my awesome hat, losing them, before I actually get them photographed properly. :(

I want to start improvising some more amirigumi animals, once I get the hang of them. The rabbit was based on a LionBrand pattern that I tweaked a little bit for a cuter look.

More updates on the thesis

Switched over to the Canon 7D to shoot these. I'm in love with this camera. I think the number 7 has to be in all the DSLRs that I really like. ... I may have just realized that the 7D looks like 70. As in D70, which was my original baby.

Loss and suffering.

How much loss can one human soul endure before it becomes a husk?
How much can be taken from a person before nothing is left?

Asking the question, how much worse can it get, its not supposed to be a dare.

Maybe there is a god, and she is called Earth. Certainly we have turned our backs on her, no wonder so many bad things happen to us.

I feel like I have moved into a stage in my life where I am so overly empathetic to the pain of those around me and of situations and mistakes that its too much to bear. I cry at the simplest things, and the complicated things. When a baby smiles at me. When my friend is terrified. When I can't make decisions about the future, and I just wait so long that the future passes me by.

Why does wanting only good things for people and for myself mean that bad things draw so near? Why is it that only when I am bitterly sad do opportunities seek me out?

I have locked myself into a strange place in this world. I make excuses about not being treated right. I just want one life problem solved at a time. I just want someone to have my back. But for some reason, all the people who would do that are still left at home. Its like the city is such a constructed artifice that all the people inside of it can't help but be the same.

I really wish everyone could just be themselves. I wish I could be myself. But I think that I am also trapped within the artifice. I want to go home. I want to go home and I want to stop being so worried and so sad and so abandoned. I want to take my clan and migrate like our ancestors, except I don't want to migrate to chase food, I want to chase and hunt happiness. Its not here anymore. Happiness has abandoned the East Coast. Only the stubbornly miserable remain.

Summer, summer, please come back.

No one msses a season
Like I miss summer.
The ever-present hug of heat
The smile of the sun of closed eyelids
If I imagine hard enough
I can almost smell the grass growing
Until I breath in too deep
And harsh winter bites my lungs
Spitting up snow in my face with windy laughter
At least experience and history teaches us
That every winter thaws to spring
Where you can tasste the earth
Crying away winter's pain into all the waters of the land
Seeping fresh life into every being
Until there's no way to be sad
Only a cutting away of old things
Making room for new growth
To embrace summer's dry kiss
Then weep and shed though fall
Because even new growth
Knows when winter's coming.

Emerging from Within

Shark Net